Demystifying Soul Mates – Part II

In case you’d forgotten, here’s a timely reminder: it’s Valentine’s Day on Tuesday.

Whether you’re in love, looking for love, out of love or over love, the day of all days for romance is nearly upon us.

For those of us in a relationship, this will be the one day on which cards, flowers and chocolates are offered as the universal gesture of love. The pressure is great – avoid the tacky and the trite but come up with that novel way of showing how you feel about your loved one. (My top tip this year: how about a bare-rooted rose bush rather than a hideously overpriced bunch of 12 out of season, unfragranced, blood red airlifted flowers? For those of you without a garden, diamonds should do the trick.)

Those of us who are single don’t necessarily have an easier ride of it. Single or partnered, the fact is that at this time of year all of us will find ourselves at one point or another thinking about our lot in love and how well (or badly) we feel Cupid has been to us.

But let’s be honest with ourselves – the burning question that Valentine’s Day sparks concerns soul mates. Somewhere along the way we have become intoxicated by the dream of finding our soul mate, our other half for that perfect, fairy tale relationship. Oh, how blissful it would be if we were only with our soul mate! And yet, I can’t help but wonder if we really know what we’re wishing for:

Does soul mate equal happily ever after?

Last week I began looking into the concept of soul mates. We saw that it’s rooted in theories of reincarnation and the premise that the essence of who we are, the soul, returns to earth many times. Each incarnation offers us lessons to learn and obstacles to overcome. And along the way we encounter fellow souls on our road to enlightenment.

These so-called soul mates could be friends, family members or anyone else for that matter. What distinguishes them is our ability to connect at a very deep level as if we have known them all our lives. It’s sometimes referred to as a sort of spiritual déjà vu.

Ah, but to meet and fall in love with our soul mate is what it’s really all about. Or is it? I can’t help but remember that ancient warning to be careful about what you wish for. Society and conventional wisdom seems to imply that the primary challenge is identifying our soul mate. And after we find him or her, we are taught that life will be easy and love will conquer all.

Somehow I’m not convinced it’s quite that easy.

Another way of considering soul mates is to view them as two halves that together form a whole (the so-called Platonic model). They complement one another. In short, this means that what one half is lacking, the other supplies. But because we are dealing with karmic lessons, it doesn’t necessarily mean that what’s needed will be handed over on a silver platter. To be sure, it could be that one soul is here to teach and the other soul to learn. An example might help at this point.

Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman. They fell in love and got married. And then one day, the woman learned that the man was having an affair with someone else. The woman was left devastated and the man was left with karmic debt to be repaid.

So in another lifetime, the same man and woman meet for a second time. And as soul mates, their bond was immediate and intense. They again married and all was good – until the man’s heart was broken when he found out that his wife was cheating on him. By learning his life lesson at the hands of his soul mate, he progresses spiritually, albeit by way of a painful experience.

It’s a simple but effective example. The two were soul mates to be sure. They found each other. They fell in love. And yet the fact that they were soul mates didn’t necessarily mean that they were destined to be together forever. Their destiny, if you will, was to work together as a team to progress their souls.

My point this week isn’t to throw cold water on the idea of romance and love. On the contrary, I hope to relieve some of the pressure we put ourselves under with this myth that all would be sunshine and roses if only we could find our soul mate to form that relationship of relationships.

Loving a soul mate is powerful. Just don’t assume it will be a walk in the park. Instead, it might be more apropos to recall that Bette Davis quote – “Fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy ride!”

Sometimes, however, it’s not that easy to identify our soul mates and to understand the lessons they are working with us to learn. For example, just because we are intimate with someone or have an affinity with them doesn’t necessarily mean that they are a soul mate. The key is to identify the type of bond shared and the task that the two individuals are working on.

Through my readings, I work with many clients to uncover such issues where they are not obvious in order to facilitate their development in this incarnation. Perhaps a reading could assist you in understanding your dealings with someone who may or may not be a soul mate? If you’re not sure, just email me and and ask.

As always, feel free to email me with any comments, suggestions or feedback on PsychicBridges.

Thanks again for all your support and until next week,

Kindest regards,

Top